Checkers

Right then. Let us wind back the clock a few years. Back to a time when men were men, women were barefoot in the kitchen, and stereotypes did not result in the kind of scorn I can pre-emptively see seeping from the pores of every woman who has started to read this. That was the time when the only place you could do all you one-stop mega-shopping was at Pick 'n Pay. The investors rolled in and after much arguing; a Checkers reared its gleaming head in a new shopping mall here in Hermanus. Like every new kid on the block, it will do its best to out gun the old guard. This time they used free food and booze with pretty girls in fancy clothing. Who would I be if I were not to investigate?

So in the middle of town they erect a massive tent, brand the thing with Checkers logos, and put two teams of attractive women to guard the entrance. A good start for the PR people I would say. The premise of the entire show is a free cooking and lifestyle extravaganza, with celebrity hosts and celebrity cooks. I wanted to see Nataniel, who I think is a talented individual, both in his writing and in singing (sadly I know too little about food to comment of his prowess as a cook). Instead I got to see the food editor of the Huisgenoot prepared steake with mushroom sauce. She was accompanied by a local celebrity whose face seemed familiar but unfortunately I could not place him. Yes, I know, I should have taken note of who he was. This is in no way a stab at the gentleman, whom I am certain worked very hard to be were he is today, but being a local television celebrity makes him about as important to me  as a yoghurt enema. Sorry dude, no hard feelings.

I did learn that when one cooks a steak in a pan (and not on fire like I normally do) its best to not heat the oil in the pan, but rather to coat the meat with the oil and then put the meat in the heated pan. I would have never guessed. Between the cooking, models came and strutted their stuff; clad in the newsiest ranges from local designers and boutiques, which included David Thale, Maria & Me, The Bromwell and Hip Hop. In case you were wondering, I had never heard of any of these before. So I suppose it did well as far as advertising as well as reminding me how uncool I really am.

When we walked in were were each given a glass which was filled at one point with wine, then later with Jack Daniels (which they watered down with soda) and Jamerson (or was it J&B). When the cooking was done we were all given a pre-prepared sample of the food we saw being prepared in front of us. Now this is being sponsored by Checkers, are gosh darn it, they were going to make sure we left remembering it. It was like being in a live infomercial.

Let's see. The wine we got to taste was call Odd Bins. In other words, Checkers, in their infinite and compassionate wisdom go to the leading Wine farms, and take their excess wine and resell it at a fraction of the cost, to us their loving patrons. Hence the name. A rather large and cynical side of me wanted to ask them what the difference was between that and Tassenberg, but the question was answered for me when the presenter mentioned how it is exclusive to Checkers. Ha, I see what you did there. Tackle the stigma with exclusivity, nice. Oh they also have an exclusive selection of coffee beans, in case you were wondering.
I might have come down a bit harsh on this massive company, but in truth, I like what they did. As far as a marketing campaign goes, this has been my favourite  It added to the atmosphere of the Festival  and it was actually enjoyable. The food was good, the girls were pretty and I learned how to make steak in a pan. Hell, I will even go and buy Odd Bins next time I need to get wine that does not need to be in a 5l box. Call me a sucker, but they gave me free food.